We’ve all heard of the "fight or flight" response. It's the body’s automatic reaction to stress or danger. But did you know two more responses often fly under the radar? In addition to fight and flight, there’s also "freeze" and "fawn." Each of these is our brain’s way of dealing with perceived threats, but they’re not always helpful in our everyday lives.
Let’s break these down.
The fight response is straightforward—when your body prepares to stand up and face the challenge. Think of moments when you feel defensive, maybe in an argument or during a stressful situation. Your heart races, adrenaline kicks in, and you're ready to confront whatever's in front of you.
The flight response happens when your brain tells you to run for safety. It’s not just about physically running, though. Sometimes, it looks like avoiding a tough conversation or even procrastinating on something stressful. Your brain tries to protect you by pushing you to avoid the situation altogether.
Now, the freeze response can feel like you’re stuck in place, unable to act. Your brain doesn’t know whether to fight or flee, so it shuts down. You might feel paralyzed or unable to make decisions. This can happen in extreme fear or overwhelm, where everything feels too much.
And then there’s fawn, which is the least talked about but just as important. This response is about people-pleasing or trying to appease the threat. If you've ever found yourself going out of your way to keep the peace, even when it means putting your needs aside, that’s fawning. It’s an attempt to avoid conflict by making yourself as agreeable as possible.
All of these responses—fight, flight, freeze, and fawn—are controlled by the part of our brain called the amygdala, which is in charge of handling fear. When we sense a threat, the amygdala takes over, sometimes causing us to react without thinking. While these responses are useful in life-threatening situations, our brains often misinterpret everyday stress, triggering these survival reactions even when there’s no real danger.
So, how do we move past these automatic responses and teach our brains to feel safe?
The first step is awareness. It’s important to notice when you’re in one of these states. Are you feeling defensive or wanting to escape a situation? Are you stuck in indecision, or maybe bending over backward to keep someone happy? Just recognizing the pattern is the beginning of gaining control over it.
Next, we can use grounding techniques to remind the brain that we’re safe. Something as simple as deep, slow breaths can signal to the body that there’s no need for panic. Try breathing in for a count of four, holding for four, and exhaling slowly. Or, engage your senses—what do you see, hear, feel around you? Grounding brings you back into the present moment and out of survival mode.
Once you've calmed down, you can start engaging your logical brain. Ask yourself, “Is this a life-or-death situation?” or “What’s the worst that could happen?” These questions help shift your mindset from fear to rational thinking, allowing you to respond more thoughtfully.
It’s also essential to practice self-compassion. Be kind to yourself when you realize you’ve gone into one of these responses. Your brain does its best to protect you, even if it sometimes gets wrong. Remind yourself that it’s okay to feel this way and that you’re working on moving through it.
Movement can also be a great way to break out of a freeze or fawn state. Yoga, stretching, or even just walking helps release the tension and stuck energy in the body, making it easier to return to a balanced state. Our bodies hold onto stress; sometimes, physical movement is the best way to release it.
For a more structured way of working through stress, EFT Tapping is a fantastic tool. Tapping specific points on the body while repeating affirmations can help your brain process stress and signal that everything is okay. It’s like pressing a reset button on your nervous system.
Lastly, practices like Reiki and energy work can be profoundly healing. These approaches help bring the body and mind back into balance, allowing your nervous system to relax. Reiki can promote deep relaxation, making it easier to let go of stress and anxiety and move forward with a clearer mind.
Ultimately, while these survival responses are automatic, they don’t have to control us. Through awareness, grounding, movement, and holistic practices like EFT and Reiki, we can teach our brains that it’s safe to relax and move forward. It’s all about finding tools that help us manage these responses and build resilience.
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