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Writer's pictureHeather Rogers

The Busyness Trap: Escaping the Cycle of Avoidance and Emotions



In a world that glorifies productivity and constant activity, it's easy to fall into the trap of busyness. We pack our schedules full, rushing from one task to the next, rarely taking a moment to pause and reflect. But what if this relentless busyness isn't just a lifestyle choice, but a subconscious attempt to avoid dealing with our emotions?


Many of us have experienced trauma in one form or another throughout our lives. It could be a major event like the loss of a loved one, a divorce, or physical abuse. Or it could be more subtle, such as growing up in an environment where emotions were dismissed or invalidated. Whatever the case, trauma leaves a mark, and often, we develop coping mechanisms to deal with the pain.


One common coping mechanism is busyness. By keeping ourselves constantly occupied, we can avoid confronting the difficult emotions that trauma brings up. It's a way of numbing ourselves, of running away from the pain rather than facing it head-on. And in the short term, it might seem to work. We distract ourselves with work, social activities, or endless scrolling on our phones, and for a while, we feel okay.


But the problem with this approach is that it's not sustainable. Emotions have a way of catching up with us, whether we like it or not. No matter how busy we keep ourselves, those underlying feelings of sadness, anger, or fear will eventually surface. And when they do, they can manifest in unhealthy ways—through anxiety, depression, or even physical symptoms like headaches or stomachaches.


Moreover, emotions that are not dealt with can fester and come up unexpectedly with triggers that we didn't even realize we had. Working through difficult emotions can be very uncomfortable but necessary for healing. It's like cleaning out a wound; it stings at first, but it's essential for the wound to heal properly.


On another hand, some activities can keep you busy and help you work through difficult emotions. Art therapy, movement practices like yoga or tai chi, physical activities, being in nature, and so on, can provide a safe space to explore and express emotions without judgment. These activities allow us to connect with our bodies and our inner selves, facilitating healing on a deeper level.


So what can we do to break free from the trap of busyness as a trauma response? The first step is awareness. Recognize that busyness is not a sustainable solution to dealing with emotions. It's merely a temporary Band-Aid that will eventually peel away.


Next, allow yourself to feel. This can be incredibly difficult, especially if you've spent years avoiding your emotions. But it's essential for healing. Give yourself permission to sit with your feelings, even if they're uncomfortable. Journaling, meditation, or therapy can be helpful tools for processing emotions in a healthy way.


Finally, practice self-care. This means prioritizing activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul. Make time for rest, relaxation, and activities that bring you joy. And don't be afraid to reach out for support from friends, family, or mental health professionals when you need it.


In conclusion, while keeping busy may seem like a convenient way to avoid dealing with emotions, it ultimately only serves to prolong our pain. By facing our feelings head-on, engaging in supportive activities, and practicing self-care, we can break free from the cycle of busyness and begin the journey toward healing.


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